December 24, 2009

And1 Bowling Fo Real



Obviously you guys remember the famed Chapelle show skit where he extrapolates the And1 basketball mixtape/tv show into various other sports "gangsta'd" out in an equitable fashion. Well it looks like some real deal And1 bowling up and running, and its sort of on the B- level of entertainment. Nevertheless it features Asian guys that think they are incredibly sweet and have corresponding haircuts.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Oh Hey...



Oh hey sports nerds. I don't know if you guys heard about this or not but it just so happens that the Cleveland Cavaliers will be playing the Los Angeles Lakers on Christmas day. Having just come from a land where the Cavs are 100% guaranteed to win to a land where the Lakeshow are a shoe-in all I can say about the game is: Imminent Hella. Enjoy and have a happy holidays!

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

December 23, 2009

Female Athlete of the Year: Homo Sapiens Prefered


Congratulations to Serena Williams for the well deserved honor of female athlete of the year. After another great season Williams earned 66 of the 138 available votes to secure her second recognition as the premiere female athlete...of any species. The runner up? Zenyatta, who raced to a 14-0 career start and became the first female horse to win the Breeders' Cup Classic. WTF? A horse? I guess the horse is competing in a sport so it must be an athlete, but really guys? considering animals for national honors? I guess Bo, the Obama's dog, should be a shoe in for the next Nobel peace prize. Anywhoooo the real loser here is Kim Clijsters who came in third to the horse...OUCH!

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

December 16, 2009

A Feast For Kings



Check out this swass (sweet ass for novices) steal plus layup for Lebron James. Normally I don't post any "tight" Lebron clips cause there seems to be one every week, but this one is kind of funny...I mean he runs into the crowd and eats that kids fries after the play. Isn't that cute? He's ba-da-da-da-dum lovin' it. Next move? Lebron James will drink your milkshake.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

This is Our Chance


Attention Sporting Nerds....the Washington Wizards need our help...seriously. Apparently they are getting tired of their usual Flip Saunders run timeouts:

Flip: Hey you....what's your name? Whatever pass the ball to KG.
Arenas: Uhhh coach, that was Minnesota maybe you mean lets heat it up with Hibachi?
Flip: What? I hate korean food. Ummmm...you...tall guy, what's your name? Whatever, pass it to rip around a screen.
Jamison: What the hell are you talking about? I'll just dribble in post for 23 seconds and spin baseline.
Flip: Exactly...on three!
Butler: I hate my life...

Cause ESPN insiders have been given the following offer:

"As a loyal ESPN Insider, you're given access to the best advanced statistics and analysis ESPN.com has to offer, which -- we hope -- means you're smarter than the average sports fan. Now's your chance to put that advanced knowledge to good use and coach the Washington Wizards. At least for one play. Really. Send us your best inbounds play by Wed. Dec. 23, via email, fax or snail mail, and our crack panel of experts will choose the best one, which the Wizards will try to use during a game. So now's your chance to prove it when you yell at the TV, "I can do better than that!"

ENTER via ...

E-Mail: espnwizardsplay@gmail.com
Fax: 212-515-1285
Snail Mail: 19 E. 34 St., 7th flr, New York, NY, 10016 (ATTN: Otto Strong)

Please be sure to include the subject line "Inbounds" on any submissions."


Hell yah! It's time for us to nerd this up. Feel free to submit anything that gets Arenas max fantasy points.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless.

Is Anyone Noticing This?


The Los Angeles Kings are in first place in the West, and are one point off of the overall best record....oh hey! How is this even remotely possible? Well there is stud young gun Anze Kopitar (#6 in the league in points), crafty veteran Ryan Smyth, and between the pipes they got the league leader in wins Jonathan Quick (great name). I mean...that's not bad, in fact they might actually be good. All three teams are relevant in LaLa land, now they just need the Chargers to move. In any case go ahead and chalk this up as one more team for the Los Angeles homers to add to their swagger behind the imminent Lakers 9-peat and the Doyers world series title.




"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Happy Halladays....


How weird is this trade? Forget all the jibber jabber about which prospects went where and which prospects used to be untouchable just for a second. The trade boils down to the Phillies trading away a number one ace, and then making a second deal to bring in another number one ace. Which is definitely strange. Apparently it stems the fact that the Phillies have a policy that they want their pitchers on 3-4 year deals and nothing more, and they knew that Lee wanted something in the ballpark of his best bud Sabbathia who pulled in a 800 billion dollar deal for 15,000 years. I can understand their perspective, pitchers who inevitably will get hurt, get contracts that are way too long. But the contract they are offering Halladay (20 million a year for three years!!!) is no joke, especially since he is 32. I suppose it is less risk than offering Lee the same for 7 years (31 years old), but so much less risk that its worth giving up on Drabek? (yes now you can reinsert the prospects) I mean Drabek was one of those "untouchable" dudes and likely a reason why the Phillies stalled on a deal for Halladay before the trade deadline. But considering that it didn't take them Drabek to get Lee (well done Cleveland) and that they have suddenly reversed their position on Drabek's value is it possible that the Phillies could have had Lee AND Halladay this playoff run? Maybe, and if that was the case we might not have to suffer through an entire season of the Yanks "defending their title." Ewww.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

December 10, 2009

An 8 5 by any other name would smell as sweet


That Chad character...he's so zany. Mr. 8 5 declared via u-stream this past weekend that he will legally change his last name from Ochocinco to Hachi Go. Yup, Chad Hachi Go. So why change your name from the spanish word for eight five to the Japanese word for eight five? Apparently a Japanese film crew was doing a piece on the Bengals recently and they informed Chad that he is well loved in Japan and suggested that he change Ochocinco to the Japanese version. Said the receiver formerly known as Mr. Johnson: “Some fans of mine that are Japanese said I should change my last name to ‘Hachi Go’.” And that is all it took. No word yet on whether or not Mr. Ochocinco has considered changing his name to the actual translation of "eighty five" or if he is sticking with the individual numbers. Hopefully Mr. Ochocinco will meet up with his Bulgarian fans some time soon....I for one can't wait to see Chad осморка банкнота от пет долара and his loltastic celebrations.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

December 9, 2009

Superman Continues to Reveal New Powers



In a game against the Warriors this weekend Dwight Howard asked to "see" the ball each time after a Warriors' first attempt. I'm not really sure why the ref complies, but it seems that he sees nothing wrong with handing over the rock for a sec. Problem is it looks like Dwight is spitting on the ball. Ew? I dunno sounds like the kind of playground voodoo that gets stuff done. When asked about this spitting Howard said: "I'm just blowing on it...I'm putting a spell on them." Well good luck with that Superman, I'm sure David Stern will have some swine flu related fine headed your way...hey how did things end up with that porn star that you tried to bang but got scooped by the dude from N'Sync? Maybe you should "blow" on him too.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."