New limit on meathead work hours?

To all those opposed to limiting resident work hours to 80 hours per week: time to turn your attention elsewhere.

If you are so concerned about human welfare, so worried about doctors in training not being competent enough to "help people" with a mere 80 hours per week under their belt, then you must be panicking about the NCAA's investigation into work hours among people who actually do help other people - football players. Let's face it, football, not doctors, and the players who make it worth watching make the world go round. We cry when the Super Bowl is over, and we are kids in a candy store come Fantasy Draft Day. That's right, football players do more for you and me than any doctor. So let them work, and let them be good at it.

Yesterday current and former players at the University of Michigan told the Detroit Free Press that their practice hours far exceeded the maximum 20 hours per week during the season and 8 hours per week during the off-season. 20 and 8? Are you kidding me? Do you ungrateful bastards know why you came to the University of Michigan, the winningest college football program in history? To become a pro football player and have a degree from the top public school in the country (whatever Berkeley, UVA, UNC, relax) as a back-up if you're not a total idiot. Not a bad deal. So stop your bitching and play the damn game.

As Chad Henne responded, being a player at a top program requires going above and beyond any defined NCAA limit on practice hours. It requires having the individual drive, motivation and pride to study and practice on your own, independently.

So listen up you weak anonymous sources that contributed to this article that never should have been written. Many of you were part of the first losing season at Michigan in 40 years. And now you're complaining about working too hard? Your names should be handed over to coaches and you should have your scholarships revoked. I've never felt more confident in Rich-Rod knowing that he is working your asses off. Last I checked, this was still football, not some notoriously queer Ann Arbor tea party.

Beat Western.

NFL Fantasy Files...

Remember these? I love these clips...basically each player has a little CGI enhanced advertisement to entice you to draft them. I'm guessing these are new or I didn't catch them last year.





"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Young men....um....crush? of the Day

"We knew we could come back," said the 13-year-old pitcher Kiko Garcia in between laughs with his teammates. "We always do."



Congrats to the young men of Chula Vista, California who rallied from a three-run deficit to defeat Taoyuan, Chinese Taipei, 6-3 to win the Little League World Series on Sunday.




6 Straight LLWS for the USA baby! AMERICAAAAAAAH FU*K YAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Titans @ Browns 8/29/09

Oh hey! Sporting nerds Ganesh and Wangasauras out and about at the browns game once again (maybe I should have a nickname that's not just my name). I went disguised as a Browns fan and Wangasaurus went disguised as a bored chinese man. FOOOOTBALL!!!!!!! I am starting to get the fever for sure....I can't wait for the regular season. Tons of younger and more athletics males smashing into each other, all so that I can write lengthy quips about their statistics. Woohooo!

As for the game, it had all the frills of a week three preseason game. Basically as close to a real NFL game as possible. The starters, or atleast some mixtures of the starters, were in through the third quarter. Derick Anderson and Brady Quinn both look decent, Brady actually seems more patient and polished but Anderson has better chemistry with Braylon Edwards for sure. My guess is that Quinn will start, he is at this point the equivalent of Anderson (though with slightly less arm strength) and they have so much invested in him. Maybe even a DA trade is on the horizon? The Titans looked kind of bad actually, they were very inconsistent on offense against what is supposed to be a bad Cleveland defense. Sure they rotated QBs but the running game never did anything explosive, isn't that what they are all about? Also the defense looked very penetrable...anyone else smelling major decline after the departure of Albert Haynesworth and Jim Schwartz?

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Caption Contest

Brandon Marshall: A Gentleman and a Scholar

Disgruntled wide receiver Brandon Marshall has had what one might call an interesting off season. While recovering from a hip procedure Marshall was prosecuted for battery. The coaching and coordinating staff left and his QB forced his way out of town. Marshall demanded to be traded too, or at least to get a new contract but got neither. He has finally reported to camp and admittedly has refused to learn the playbook. As we can see from this video of his last practice he is actually walking when the team runs, punting balls across the field rather then handing them to the ball boy, and knocking down passes during passing drills rather then catching them. Excellent work! I'm sure everyone will be clamoring to meet your demands now....where do the Broncos find these guys? Marshall at least realized how much of an ass he is: "I'm not out there trying to be a distraction to the team," Marshall said. "Unfortunately, yesterday I kind of let my frustration get the best of me." But too little too late as he is suspended for the rest of the preseason. McDaniels won't even talk about it! This is the kind of situation that can only end in a win-win for both sides.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Pitino Should Remind Media That It's Scott Hamilton's Birthday

On Wednesday, Rick Pitino tore the media a new one for printing and broadcasting 100% lies about his indiscretions "on the day that Ted Kennedy died." It was tasteless in his mind for sports reporters to continue covering the fallout from his scandalous behavior rather than spending more time on the touchdown pass that Teddy K caught in the 1955 Harvard-Yale game. Today would be an equally inappropriate day for the media to run stories about Pitino, as it is the 51st birthday of gold medal figure skater Scott Hamilton. Pitino should point out that Hamilton overcame cancer in 2004, and he needed support to come back from that, not unlike the support that Pitino gave the Louisville community in coping with 9/11. Whether or not Rick Pitino paid for an abortion for a woman that he had consensual, adulterous sex with in a closed restaurant should not matter today. The only thing that should matter today is Scott Hamilton, and maybe also how great Louisville recruiting classes continue to be.

Mancrushish: David Ortiz

"You're getting late into August right now, and it's good to have big hits like that, especially from him," said All-Star Tim Wakefield.

Congrats to Papi, for hitting his 10th career walk off bomb, his first since2007, and his first muiti-jack game of the season.

This all, of course, coming on the day that federal courts ruled that it was not legal for federal agents to seize the 2003 list of players that tested positive for steroids under an "anonymous" test. The identities of the rest of the 104 positive tests will go back into the clutches of the players union. And the results will presumably be destroyed; the union was after all having them destroyed when they were seized under warrant as part of the BALCO investigation. I guess we'll never know who the other guys were? I for one don't really care.

Shaq Vs: the gift that keeps on giving

I'll admit it, I thought that Shaq Vs was going to be an incredibly awesome show. So I tuned in to watch the first episode and watched Shaq lose to Ben Roethlisberger in football and never watched the show again. Why? Because it demonstrated that someone who was not a football player at all was not as good as a superbowl winning quarterback....at being a quarterback (yaaaawn). But hey, it looks like he bet those volleyball chicks that he would wear a pink speedo if he lost to them. Obviously he lost since May-Treanor and Walsh are gold medalist and he doesn't play volleyball, but he came through on the speedo with hilarious results. I guess I might tune in to see Shaq cram into a laser suit and swim against Phelps.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Dirty Sanchez....so hot right now?

A commonly asked and ever so important question has been brought up once again this preseason: should you start your ace rookie qb or give him time to adjust and learn? For every Matt Ryan or Joe Flacco there are ten Joey Harringtons or Alex smiths in the lurk. And the Aaron Rogers/Phillip Rivers mold of coming in and learning the system seems to work with remarkable consistency. No one questions whether or not these kids can throw and run and take a hit, its how they will react psychologically to the situation that is in question. Harrington, for example, just couldn't take it. He could throw the ball too, just needed time to grow up and the Lions couldn't afford to give it to him.

The Jets, in any case, are putting Sanchez right in the mix: "I feel that the best move for our franchise and our team is to go with Mark as our quarterback," coach Rex Ryan said. Now Sanchez's performance this preseason has certainly been lauded but excited old man chatter aside, he really hasn't played that well. He is a combine 6/12 for 131 years a TD an INT (pick six) and a fumble. His QB rating so far is 82.29, which is good for 20th in the league (just behind Jason Campbell). Nevertheless, in this case I agree with the decision. Sanchez seems like he could eventually be good, and whether or not this is the right thing for his development Sanchez is likely to be better than Kellen Clemens. Which is quite frankly the deciding factor. Every team that drafts a young QB would rather sit them on the bench and have their face in a playbook then have them play, but the reality is that not too many teams have that luxury. The packers did it with Rogers cause they had Favre and the Chargers did it because of the surprise emergence of Drew Breese. In most cases, however, that is not an option: Matt Ryan in Atlanta, Flacco in B-more, and now Sanchez in NY. Its not really about the rookies themselves its more about whether or not there is someone/anyone else, and that's the only reason why Sanchez should start and Matt Stafford shouldn't. An 82.29 passer rating is better than Favre's 81.0 from last year after all.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

In your face world's largest HDTV

I almost forgot about this deliciously nerdy event. A Titan's preseason punt against the Cowboys smacked against the HD display at the new Cowboy's stadium and fell to the ground. The play isn't reviewable, and there's no provision for a replay. HA! Basically the screen is part of the field. Jeff Fisher urged an impromptu league meeting to demand and adjustment of the height of the TV, which would apparently cost 2 million dollars. How tight is that? A 2,160 inch HD TV and it costs 2 mill to adjust it. Only Jerry Jones and only in Texas baby. Supposedly he was going to move it anyway for an upcoming U2 concert...I'm guessing he'll just cut the supports and let this one crash into the field before he puts up the replacement.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

It must suck to be ... The New York Mets

Johan Santana will miss his next start due to pain in his pitching elbow. Apparently he has been avoiding pitching much between starts for a while and Mets management is rightfully concerned. Concerned enough that they are treating the looming elbow surgery as an inevitability. They have $136,000,000 payroll (second only to the yanks) and they have 11 players on the disabled list: including David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Jose Reyes, Carlos Delgado, J.J. Putz, John Maine, and now potentially Johan Santana of all things. They are 14 games behind in the wild card race and are basically cashed in once again. Fair or not there is talk of dismantling the team again. Man it must suck to be the Mets.


"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Mancrush of the Day: Ryan Spilborghs

"When I was running the bases I was trying to get to my teammates as fast as I could," Spilborghs said.

Yah, another walk of jack....that's all I got these days. At least this one was a Slam!

Like a good neighbor....

BAM! All it took was one second and Tom Brady was gone from football. A couple of series into the first game of the season and unpredictable injury was already immeasurably reshaping the entire fantasy football world. That really is the crazy thing about us sports nerds and our fantasy games; despite all our strategizing and statistics mongering the nature of the league is inevitably shaped by injuries. A big time running back is taken out and someone is first to pickup their backup, a pro bowl QB is put on the DL and the #1 receiver on that team becomes worthless, a rookie QB wins the starting job over a semi injured vet and the tight end becomes invaluable...all unpredictable but still paramount to the outcome. Its almost like we are powerless to control our own game. Or powerless until now:

http://fantasysportsinsurance.com/

That's right, actual insurance for your fantasy team. To insure your player you simply put in your league entry fee, the transaction fee of your league, and any other expenses (online subscription etc...) and then the company figures out a value based on the players injury potential. Of course this means nothing to people who play in "free" leagues only for things like "pride" or "bragging rights," but still it offers some measure of control in an otherwise chaotic field. Who said there is anything wrong with profiting off of people getting injured? Power to the consumer baby!

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Lions @ Browns 08/23/09

Oh hey, sporting nerd out and about! I went to my first Lions game ever last night...Lions got trounced but hey I'm used to that. Even though it was preseason and preseason games are kind of hard to watch (there is just no consistency or flow from series to series) it definitely got me in the mood for football. August couldn't end any sooner...





and in case you were wondering, its true:

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Mr. Ochocinco Gets a Kick Out of Football

Chad Ochocinco certainly has his swag back, and by that I mean his enthusiasm. Ocho has been touting how bad he feels about his ranting and raving after he had a heart to heart with Denzel Washington (LOL), and how he is back to being dedicated to the team. Well on thursday night he went out and cout 3 passes for 69 yards and kicked the extra point on Chris Henry's TD. KICKED THE EXTRA POINT! He also went ahead and kicked the ball off...not bad. Ochocinco actually looked good as a kicker too: extra point down the middle and kick off down to the 10.

"'Esteban' Ochocinco is back, the most interesting footballer in the world," Ochocinco said. "Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now."

This is sort of thing is exactly the outlet that Ochocinco needs. He is eccentric and entertaining and as long as he can have his fun beeing that "oh soooo funny and different" guy he is satisfied running routes and catching balls. When the league started stripping him of his excessive celebrations a year ago that's when he started complaining. Let him be on the roster as the emergency kicker...maybe even let him celebrate a TD or two by kicking the extra point. Its harmless enough, and it will keep him happy. Wide receivers are, after all, little children that need to be pleased.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Shaquille O'Steal?

Funny story out about how Shaq allegedly ripped off Steve Nash's idea for his new TV show and got busted because Steve Nash is generally on top of things in life. I haven't seen Shaq's show but I'd rather watch Steve Nash in this concept myself, had I been consulted beforehand.


Shaqsteal O'Steal?

Shaq Mencia?


http://www.azcentral.com/sports/suns/articles/2009/08/19/20090819spt-boivinshaq.html

FYI: It remains very illegal to accidentally shoot yourself.

Plaxico Burress (best first name in sports) pleaded guilty to one count of "attempted criminal possession of a weapon;" which seems kind of weird since he definitely succeeded in criminally possessing said weapon, but I'm no fancy big city lawyer or anything. His current sentence will keep him in jail for 2 years and leave him 2 years of supervised release. Apparently with good behavior he could be released at 20 months at the earliest, making him available to the NFL in spring 2011 (match day baby!) at the earliest. This is kind of a big deal...I mean by the next time he can play an NFL game he will be 34 and certainly declining hella. Basically by accidentally shooting himself he got the same sentence as a guy that bank-rolled a multi-state dog killing bonanza, 30 times the jail sentence of Donte Stallworth who actually KILLED SOMEONE while drunk, and wasted what was likely to be the last really productive years of his career. Sux for Plax, we all knew he didn't have the greatest hands but this fumble was ridiculous.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Caster and the Angry 800 Meters

18 year-old Caster Semenya became suspected of foul play three weeks ago when she dropped sick times in the 800 and 1500 meters. So she's being suspected of doping just like so many others in track and field? Nope. She's suspected of being a dude. Now I want to say up front that I am not calling into question--and certainly not laughing at-- individuals who struggle with gender assignment and/or gender identity. What I am calling into question is the way that the IAAF seems to be approaching this. A spokesman for the IAAF said, "If there's a problem and it turns out that there's been a fraud ... that someone has changed sex, then obviously it would be much easier to strip results. However, if it's a natural thing and the athlete has always thought she's a woman or been a woman, it's not exactly cheating." Wait, so are you saying that after she’s subjected to extensive gynecological, endocrinological, and psychological tests, if it turns out that she is and always has been a woman, that’s not exactly cheating? Are you saying that it’s still kind of cheating because she is just so freaking fast? If your tests reveal that this person changed gender, then congratulations IAAF; you can justify stripping someone’s medals and banning them from the sport. But what if she is just a really fast woman? Then you’ve completely humiliated one of your sport’s greatest stars. It just doesn’t seem worth it to me. Testing for drugs is one thing, where there is a fear that doping could become widespread. But how many people in the history of track and field have gotten a sex change to give themselves a competitive edge? I hope for your sake, IAAF, that it is not just “a natural thing.”

I Think I Hate This Guy

Brett Favre will reportedly sign a 10-12 million dollar contract to play for the Vikings today. What the hell? I think I hate this guy...it is basically impossible to follow his whims and everyone EVERYONE is absolutely sick of hearing about it. Man it must suck to be Sage Rosenfels or any Vikings receiver and be practicing for several weeks now with this looming over you. What is the point of this anyway? Is he going to light it up with Bernard Berrian and Percy Harvin? Will he even play for more than 1 season? Doubt it...the only possible positive outlook on this is that there is plenty of QB intrigue in the NFC North: Stafford, Rogers, Cutler, and Favre...I'll admit it, I'm going to be watching.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

GP3 Crosses Over to the Gridiron

Greg Paulus has just been named the starting quarterback for the Syracuse Orangemen. Yes, that same Greg Paulus who played point guard for Duke the last 4 years. The same Greg Paulus whose best defensive move was to wave his hands. After only a week of practice, head coach Doug Marrone decided that Paulus was his best option. "He has instincts that are hard to teach," Marrone said. "He knows how to look people off, how to take control of the game and how to change plays." And trip over himself.

This has got to be a new low for Syracuse. I mean, c'mon, this is the same program that breeded the first original quarterblack in Donovan McNabb. Hopefully, GP3 can take his hits on the field better than he did on this one:

Tom Cable Will Break Your Face

Tom Cable, esteemed coach of the Oakland Raiders, reportedly sucker punched assistant coach Randy Hanson and broke his jaw. IN YOUR FACE assistant coach so and so!!!! This is what you get!!! This is what you get for questioning why John Goodman is your coach. This is quite awesome, I mean can you imagine lame ass Lane Kiffin doing this? I was always curious why Al Davis was into Cable but now its obvious...he is a dick, has an incredible fist-fourty time, and sure as hell doesn't roll on the shabbos.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Mancrush of the Day: Usain Bolt

"I don't run for world records," said Bolt.

This guy is fast: 100 meters in 9.58 seconds, world recording setting pace again. His main challenger Tyson Gay ran it in 9.71 which would have been the world record a year ago but clearly fell short.

ATTENTION AL DAVIS: The mathematics of Bolt's 100 meter time suggest that he could run a 3.5 second 40 time therefore making him the greatest NFL player EVAAARRRRR!

In Your Face Thailand

Snap! 110th ranked golfer Y.E. Yang came from two strokes back to beat Tiger on the final day of the PGA championship. Yet a another moral victory for Korea over Thailand...well over half Thailand...and just the southern part of Korea. I doubt I was alone in assuming that Tiger with a Sunday lead was money in the bank, but it just didn't work out. He looked and felt like a player slugging it out and was unable to call up that magic that seems to make those birdie puts always fall. I guess it qualifies as choking, but it probably would be a stretch to say that Tiger has lost his ability to close; I mean 15/16 is still quite hella. I'm sure that Mr. Woods is pissed about this year: no major titles, missing the cut in England, and losing the PGA on the last day. But on the whole, money-wise and total wins-wise, he still had a great year. The funny thing is that a Tiger Woods loss at a major is still about Tiger and not about the guy who won. Which may be unfair except that usually a Tiger Vanquisher fails to win another tournament for long time if at all. I guess we'll have to see what Yang's got.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Mancrush of the Day: Brandon Inge

"It couldn't have come at a better time," Inge said.

Congrats to Brandon Inge for hitting a walk-off game winning HR to snag a 1-0 victory in pitching duel between newly acquired Jared Washburn and CY Young hopeful Zach Greinke. And also for his expert analysis of the timing of said homerun. If the Tigers could muster a somewhat reasonable offense they wouldn't have to rely on walkoff HRs all season...but its still tight anyway.

If the Vick Don't Stick You Must Acquit

Michael Vick signs a 2 year deal with the Eagles: 1.6 mill and then an option for 5.2 mill. This is definitely a surprise given that the eagles were one of those teams that explicitly stated that they were not interested in Vick's services. I can't imagine he was signed as only as a back up as Phili is relatively secure at QB with McNabb having a resurgence and Kevin Kolb and A.J. Feely in the fold as well. The Eagles also have a heavily pass oriented offense that would sort of stress all of Vick's weaknesses, and I have never really seen anything from them reflecting any of the hybrid offenivee sets that everyone was so excited to see Vick in. There remains the possibility, however, that Vick will line up at half back for the Eagles...maybe in specific situations and almost certainly if Westbrook has trouble rehabbing. Seeing Vick as a backup QB with occasional scatback usage would be fun at least, I guess we'll see how it works out...he might do nothing at all in which case the Eagles could just let him go.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Shane Victorino is No Ron Artest

Athletes used to know how to respond to having a beverage thrown at them. That's all I am saying. Shane Victorino got doused with a Miller Lite at Wrigley last night while he was making a play, and his response was to file a complaint with the Chicago Cops and say, ""[The beer thrower is] probably at home laughing right now. I just think he should be held accountable, that's it, nothing more than that. He should be held accountable, that's it ... but it is what it is. It's not like the first time I've seen it happen [at a ballpark]." It is what it is, Shane? How that statement protects athletes from getting soaked in the future, I do not know. What I do know is that athletes used to know how to come back on 'em. And that's essential. A pitcher plunks your guy, you plunk one of their guys to show that your team will not be plunked at will. A fan throws a beverage at you, you go find him and punch him in the face to show that players will not have beverages thrown at them. It's just the social economy of the game, and it frosts me when these young pansies don't recognize it.

Mancrush of the Day: Pedro Martinez aka Petey

"The fact that I got a win or whatever is very good, but to actually be able to make it back like I promised my dad I would do, it was probably my best gift. That's for him. This one's for him." ~Pedro Martinez

Pedro got plenty of support in a seven hit, three run, 1 walk, five k, 99 pitches outing in 5 innings. Nothing crazy, but pretty good. I love old man strength.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

We always knew that Rick Pitino was a classy guy. So the revelation that he obliged when he was approached by a lady at a restaurant to encourage her son (via cell phone) about athletics etc. is not surprising. Nor is it surprising that that when that same lady returned to the restaurant at closing time the owner gave the keys to Pitino who then had sex with the woman in the closed restaurant after the last employee had left. Nor should it be unexpected that despite the fact that the restaurant was closed that a Pitino aide would still be in the restaurant lying down out of sight but able to hear "what sounded like consensual sex." And certainly when Pitino followed up by demanding a paternity test if she kept the child and offering to pay for the abortion if she didn't we knew that anything less would be uncivilized. The real question here is what will John Calipari do to up the ante? Restaurants around Kentucky better get their popcorn ready...

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

At Some Point Someone Had to Do it: Dallas Mavericks?

Let's face it, someone had to eventually talk about the Dallas Mavericks. I am actually quite proud of myself for delaying it until August. Let's start out by saying that no matter what the Mavericks will always be...well...Mavericky, and will therefore not amount to anything that tight. But they did do a bunch of stuff this offseason with the net result being something like this:

Starters

PG: Jason Kidd
SG: Josh Howard
SF: Shawn Marion
PF/C: Dirk Nowitzki
PF: Drew Gooden

Key Reserves: Jason Terry, Tim Thomas, Erick Dampier, Quinton Ross

Departures: Brandon Bass, Jerry Stackhouse, Antoine Wright, Devean George , Ryan Hollins

Doesn't that seem like something? Maybe even a 4 seed behind Flakers, Thuggetz, and Oldman-antonio. Who knows really what the Matrix can do, but maybe he depends on a distributing PG to get his offense going and would thereby have something left to give in Dallas. I dunno, at least they will be well coached.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Porcello Penetrates Youkilis

If you were watching any ESPN last night you probably noticed that Rick Porcello made love to Kevin Youkilis on the infield during a game. This is highly ill advised as both players were ejected for "doing it" and Porcello's good start was wasted as the Sox pounded the Tiger's bullpen. The best moment was that look of lust in Youk's eyes as he realized he couldn't take it anymore and had to have Porcello right then and there...he threw off his helmet and let the younger man take him. Porcello was obviously torn between seeing where his strong pitching outing against a big time lineup was going to take him and finding out just how tickly that goatee really would feel on his nape. Perhaps the young gun though it best to put his game on hold and try out his "split seam" fastball instead...

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

It was only a matter of time...

...for someone in the NBA to be found using "supplements" "unknowingly" "containing" "banned" "substances."


...Rashard Lewis, the most recent installment of "FTL."

Delonte West: Unbelievable & Precedented

Obviously if you were stoned out of your mind, an NBA player, and inexplicably waiting 18 minutes for chicken at KFC the first thing you would do is "freestyle" about the experience. Best lines:

"Hot sauce in my bag...extra, hot sauce in my bag...extra."

"Chi-chi-potle, Chi-chi-potle, you get burrito beans by Chipotle....You get some juice not get no hot sauce, shit they'll eat Chipotle like a boss."

Cleveland Cavaliers: 2010 NBA Champions, guaransheed it.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

Prince Fielder Looks Hungry

Damn! Look how angry prince is as he tries to storm into the Dodger's locker room. That's right, he tried to enter the home team's locker room to either kill or eat Guillermo Mota who threw at him during the game. Mota presumably threw at Fielder in retaliation for Smith throwing at Manny, which obviously sucks if you're Fielder...but the intensity of his response is crazy. This sort of thing happens all the time, or at least often enough that if one team's best player gets hit (accident or not) then you would expect the other team's best player to get beaned too. In this case the retaliation throw was inside and at leg level, pretty benign as far as beanbacks come (consider Clemens trying to rip Piazza's head off) and probably something that Fielder should have seen coming...which makes it weird that he is this insanely worked up about it. Either he has never played pro ball before, or is on a roid rage.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."

X-Games Recap

Some people have a hard time categorizing the "extreme" sports genre as actual sports, but from the spills and pure insanity these guys take - I think it's quite justified. This past weekend marked the end of X-Games 15 (15!? I remember the first extreme games and the PS game it spawned, not to mention hours spent trying to build - unsuccessfully - my own street luge). There were plenty of insane tricks pulled and massive crashes, but all in all it was an entertaining few hours on the ESPN/ABC networks. One thing I did notice however was the lack of diversity of event types. Yes there were vert events, freestyle, street, and big air (which is by far one of the most insane things to do besides jumping out of an airplane without a parachute). However there were only MotoX, BMX, Skateboarding and Rally car racing as disciplines. What happened to street luge, inline skating, wakeboarding, speed climbing? I think these died as the trendiness of being "X-treme" died and with a dying trend, goes the finances behind them. It's an unfortunate end that the struggling economy and changing trends did in a lot of x-games events. Overall, this year's x-games were still prety sick, and as long as there are people like Travis Pastrana around, will always be entertaining.

Tiger Woods: Silent but Deadly

As you may have heard, Tiger Woods farted this past Sunday while on his way to another Buick championship. I, in no way, consider myself above fart humor and therefore find cutting a wet one on the back nine to be unbelievably hilarious. What makes this even greater is that the PGA demanded that youtube take down the video due to "copyright infringement" necessitating me to post this clip that someone filmed from their TiVo. I think we can all read between the lines here: Tiger farted on camera (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and then immediately called his Nike representative who went around confiscating all tapes from the internet to save face and not lose endorsements. Why do they even bother? You can not stop the internet....its only a matter of time until that video of Lebron getting a cleveland steamer goes viral.

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless.

Mancrush of the Day: Clete Thomas

"I've never hit a walk-off homer before -- not at any level," he said. "When I was rounding first and realized it had gone out, I didn't know how to react. It feels better than you even think it will -- and that's something you always dream of doing."

Congrats to the guy with the most down home country name on the tigers: Clete Thomas (no nickname needed) for hitting the first walk off binger of his life. It was actually a wild game for the Tigres with Verlander giving up 5 runs to the Orioles before getting his second out and then rebounding to pitch 8 innings without anymore runs.

Massive Missive

I’ll start by apologizing because it has been a long time since my last post. I’ve been caught in a wash of subpar sporting news that even a diehard sporting fan like I have difficulty caring about.

- I really, really need football. I would rather spend 45 listening to Favre rumors than think about baseball or specifically the Indians bullpen, which now has a collective shelf life shorter than Tal Bachman’s career. I don’t think the Halladay trade potential would ever get this much attention if it wasn’t July. As my colleague said recently, this certainly is the worst sporting month of the year. Please be September soon. I want to endlessly ramble about my fantasy team and then pretend to be listening when people tell me about theirs. On a side note, is no one watching the “TO Show”? How is it not the number one rated show on television? Watching TO and his sidekick Pablo bumble around LA has been enlightening so far, if only for watching TO shop like a drunken Pepperdine coed and then be harassed by “Frick and Frack”. I can’t tell if TO’s publicist is a genius or in need of serious psychiatric attention, but if the strategy is to divert attention from TO’s craziness to the most annoying publicist/friend on the planet, then it’s working. This lady makes TO look like Walter Cronkite (RIP). I can’t even imagine what’s going to happen when TO goes to Buffalo, a city about as glamorous as a DMV Christmas party, and where 90% of local media is dedicated to the Bills (70% of the 90%) and Sabres (the other 20%) and the remainder to the weather forecast. Can we get someone local over there to keep us updated on TO sightings? I need this.

- You have to know Belichick is thinking about Vick. New England has already become the Betty Ford Clinic of the NFL, and their playbook would only get deeper with direct snap options to Vick next to Brady in the backfield. That leads to the obvious thought of Vick heading right to the Dolphins, but at this point they already have a system that is working for them. The addition of Vick would just add a layer of complexity to a group that has gelled for some strange reason. And do you really want to let him loose in Miami? If I’m a GM, I’d rather let Richard Gere watch my gerbil when I’m out of town than give Michael Vick a salary to spend on Miami Beach. We should get a poll going as to where Vick would be most effective. At least we know where he would be least effective. Worst team: Oakland. What’s interesting about that last statement is that it works for just about anything you can think of. Worst team to be drafted by: Oakland. Worst team to be a fan of: Oakland. Worst team to play for: Oakland. Worst team to be the General Manager of if you are a corpse being perfused by Ringer’s Lactate and mentally and physically controlled by a team of irate, herpetic Macaques: Oakland.

- It really must have been Christmas morning in the Cliff Lee household. After the Cy Young winner pitched his heart out this season for a 7-9 record, he finally gets a chance for his efforts to actually make a difference. This leads me to reminisce about some other recent trades where an All-Star that was toiling in a futile situation has been moved to a team where they suddenly had championship potential. Obvious ones are Garnett from the T-Wolves and the Great Theft of Gasol from Memphis to LA. Who’s next?

- I recently watched the movie “17 Again” on a long flight (it was 8.5 hours- I would have watched Beaches twice to make it through this one). I can not deny that I found it entertaining. The premise of this movie is that 40-something suburban loser Mathew Perry, who is about to enter into divorce proceedings with his wife and has two kids that loathe him is given the opportunity to return back in time and become 17 once again and re-make a life-altering decision: play basketball in college or marry his high school sweetheart (who he is now divorcing). A creepy janitor warps him into some sort of hybrid who is 17 again physically but has the mind and soul of the same middle aged putz. Some mild hilarity ensues as does some extreme viewer discomfort as his teenage daughter puts the moves on the new guy in school (what is with Michelle Trachtenburg and incest? First EuroTrip and now this? I think we need a congressional committee) and he teaches his son how to be cool and date a cheerleader. In the end, he makes the same decision to leave the movie-ending basketball game and chase after his wife. The point to all of this is that I started to wonder about the worst career ruining decisions ever made in sports, or at least a top-5. I think these should also be based on career potential, the illustriousness of their career up that point, and also just how stupid the inciting incident(s) was/were. Bonus points for irony. I’d say my list looks like this, but not necessarily in order and it is by no means complete:

1. Pete Rose. The all-time hits leader gets caught gambling on his own games. How could you, Pete?
2. Maurice Clarett. A top-5 prospect for sure decides to enter the draft after his freshman year and goes undrafted. Later arrested for… just about everything.
3. Mike Tyson. Pretty much every decision he made after 1998.
4. Plaxico Burress. He shot himself in the leg. Enough said? Some will argue this choice because they feel he wasn't talented enough, but he was coming off of two seasons in which he had become a caliber receiver and was certainly young enough to move upward.
5. Vince Carter. The "second coming" didn't really pan out. I think everyone knows the story, but his raw talent was really hard to watch peter out into mediocrity. It's hard to tie this down to one decision, but I'd say that he really nailed the coffin shut when he decided that he needed to be involved in picking a GM and responding to his eventual (and legitimate snub) by purchasing the world's biggest postage stamp and mailing in the rest of his career.


- One of the best things about the Tour de France is that crazy-ass fans get to run around with the bikers down whatever stretch they choose. We should introduce this notion to other sports as well. If a guy with a cow suit and a cape wants to chase Roger Federer up and down the baseline, I think that should be kosher. If Contador can handle it, so can R-Fed.

- The best thing about the Golf Channel isn’t “Top 10 Tiger Short Game Moments” or the egregious amount of attention laden upon Natalie Gulbis, it’s Lauren Thompson. I give it three months before she’s a Fox News anchor.

What I would give to pull up to James Harrison in his Clown Car at a stoplight. I think he may have lost some intimidation points with opposing quarterbacks on this one.

(Who can spot the Hines Ward laughing in the backgroud?)