I Had Sex With Tiger Woods

Well not really...I mean there was that one time that I fell asleep and he put his balls in my mouth and took a picture...but I was asleep so that doesn't count. In any case it seems like an everyday occurrence now that some breezy pops out of nowhere claiming that Tiger got some. The whole thing is strange/gross and its not clear what to believe or think about any of it. In reality the only thing you can conclude from all this is that Tiger has been clobbering the caucasian female like whoa...and I don't have anything novel to say about that. Little fact that you might not remember though: Tiger met his wife Elin through fellow golfer Jasper Parnevik as Ms. Nordegren was Jasper's babysitter (congratulations to Parnevik's children). Well Jasper hasn't been all that pleased with the dirty dirty that Tiger has on display, going as far as to say:

"It's a private thing, of course," Jesper continued. "But when you are the guy he is, the world's best athlete, you should think more before you do stuff. . . And maybe not just do it, like Nike says."

Ohhhhhh Parnevik burn! He cuts deep with the very slogan of the company with which Woods has a lucrative contract...how Swedish. Needless to say that Woods is basically f'd from a PR perspective....his only way out is to call Dungy. DUNGY!!!! BRING IN DUNGY!!!!!

"Both teams played hard...goodnight and godbless."